Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Hobo

There's a little guy who wanders the streets of Stokesville simply known as 'The Hobo'. The man is as mysterious as his vast knowledge of underground music and culture. There's no telling where you might run into him; maybe in a soup line hassling Sammy...

... or inside FREEDOG hassling Goth Boy (AKA 'Succubuss'. Real name: Craig McHutchence)

Most people avoid him, thinking he's going to ask for some money- but he never does.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Stokesville has a pretty active nightlife and one of the main social hubs in town is a nightclub called 'Freedog'.

This is Plastronico's venue of choice and hosts many live shows (Gary Numan and Iggy Pop played here!) and events including 'Boomchaka' (a massive battle of the DJs).

Socialites and degenerates alike flock here (sometimes they are one and the same). Every night you can find excitement, adventure and heavy stimulants like 'JIFF' in massive quantities available here at Freedog. This club has some pretty scary bouncers including Mike* and Randy.

If you ever run into these guys, for the love of all that is decent PLEASE make sure you do not touch Mike. He defends his own personal space with a psychopathic fervor and my deepest, most heartfelt sympathies go out to anyone foolish enough to rush the stage while Mike is on duty.

Factual tidbit: The characters of DJ Zeus and Mike the bouncer are Stokesville characters created by Rodbcon. Rodney himself has stated that Mike is a conglomeration of Big Chris from 'Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels', Robert Fields (see previous post) and LTJ Bukem's scary geezer of a tour manager. Actual stokesville art by Rodney will be making its way here very soon so keep on the lookout for that.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Robert Fields

"I used to know a really cool guy named Robert Fields. He was a pagan truck driver. Well, I say 'pagan'- more specifically he was a practicing Sumerian. He was soft-spoken and calm, but I always had that feeling that things could go 'nuclear' at any moment the way you feel around unhinged people. Some of his National Guard stories were CRAZY. Anyway, he used to visit me at work and one day he strolled in with a bag of chocolate turtles from the nearby 'Mo's Nuthouse'. He told me he had a strict physical and dietary discipline, but once-and only once- a year he 'allowed' himself one small gluttonous indulgence in the form of sweets."


Thursday, November 6, 2008


Electro-pop sensation PLASTRONICO is one of Stokesville's claims to fame (others being things like the massive, reportedly bottomless hole on the outskirts of town, frequent dimensional portal activity, zombies etc.. ) The band members are:

Look for their new album, 'HELMUT'S COUCH' featuring the single 'TOUCH THE MANUSCRIPT' available now at Swizzlers CDs, Records & **** and other fine, no-smoking establishments.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


Wandering alone around Stokesville for the first time: A terribly ill-advised thing to do. One could quite easily lose one's bearings and eventually find oneself on Steadycam avenue. If this happens to you, run as far as you can away from it...unless of course it's too late and a certain someone has spotted you..

Linton Samuel Dawson- inspired by the Porcupine Tree song of the same name. No one knows where he's from or why he is even here. Some say he is a deranged god amusing himself by studying us weak-minded humans... others are convinced he is just a certifiable nutcase. When he is not accosting people who walk up and down this street, or in the middle of something called 'Rainbow Jive'...

...he can be seen doing all kinds of incredibly insane things for no good reason (is there EVER a GOOD reason to do incredibly insane things?) Keep an eye open. You just might spot him doing one of them.

So that is Linton. An enigma of the most ludicrous sort. More of him coming soon.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

A welcoming Warning.

Welcome, readers. My name is Mark Lyons and this is my official blog about 'Stokesville'. That little piece of Heaven they told you about. 25 miles east of Scribblesville just below the Moosehead border. The folks who live here are just your normal everyday sort- electro-pop stars, pan-dimensional loiterers, nocturnal landscapers, creepy rednecks, goths, bigfoot, zombies, a necromancer with A.D.D. and many other average, salt-of-the-earth characters. So sign the waiver absolving me of any liability associated with any detriment that may befall you while you are here, stay a while, get to know the good people of Stokesville but I'm tellin' you now... you might want to avoid Steadycam Avenue. (*nods with a serious look*)